This year, the White Ribbon campaign has a focus on asking people to Challenge the #Outdated.
Message from White Ribbon Ambassador, Very Rev Ray Coster
Ray is encouraging men to speak about messages around masculinity they received growing up that they later found unhelpful for building healthy relationships. Ray says that change begins by focusing on the attitudes which enable men to think that violence is ok, or that it is ‘masculine’ to exercise power or control over another person. Watch Ray interview four male Presbyterian Church ministers on the theme below. Read or download Ray’s White Ribbon message
Watch interviews with Presbyterian ministers on how they Challenge the #Outdated
In November 2020, Very Rev Ray Coster interviewed Moderator Right Rev Fakaofo Kaio, Rev David Sang-Joon Kim, Rev Martin Stewart and Rev Ryhan Prasad. You can download all the interviews here or watch on the PCANZ vimeo.
Part 1:“What messages did you receive about being a man that you now consider outdated?”
Part 2: “How did you come to reject outdated messages about masculinity?”
Part 3: “What would you say to boys and men about masculinity in 2020?”
Part 4: “In what ways have churches shared unhelpful messages about masculinity?”
Full video interview (52 minutes)
About Challenge the #Outdated 2020
This year, White Ribbon is talking about the #outdated – stereotypes that boys and men are handed down from their role models. The things we teach our kids about “how to be a man” might seem harmless, but actually carry messages that can create a really negative impact.
When we say things like “Show them who’s boss”, “Kids should keep quiet” or “Treat em mean, keep em keen” we’re putting limits on how kids interact with their world and how they develop their relationships. Many men have grown up hearing these things and end up copying these unhealthy attitudes and behaviours – even if they don’t like or agree with them. At their worst, these attitudes and behaviours can lead to violence toward women. This violence affects our families, our communities, and our whole country.
So how do we change it? In all of our relationships – whānau, friends, colleagues, teammates – we can challenge the #outdated stereotypes of what it means to be a man. We can role model healthy relationships and focus on strength that comes from a kaupapa of respect and aroha. We can call each other out and encourage more kōrero about gender equality.
If you are doing something to mark White Ribbon day, and spread the message about stopping men’s violence against women, please let us know. We’ll help you get the word out!
If you, or your parish, want to do something to mark White Ribbon day, but aren’t sure how to get started, then check out these ideas: take the White Ribbon Pledge, become a White Ribbon accredited workplace, talk about respectful relationships with young men and women in your family and church, host an event, participate in the White Ribbon ride in your area; or consider making contact with your local Presbyterian Support or Family Works office, and doing a joint activity.
White Ribbon NZ resources
Presbyterian Support Northern White Ribbon 2020
Presbyterian Support Northern with Rev Roxy Gahegan have developed White Ribbon Day resources for churches with 2020 themes, “Don’t Give Up, You Matter, You Are Not Alone”.
Roxy’s White Ribbon blog includes an opening prayer, scriptures, video clips, a short audible story - and a power point presentation that includes some of the material found on the blog; a myth buster flyer along with a powerful story of an older NZ woman who spent many years in an abusive relationship; and a poster encouraging people to pray, share and talk with others. Download all of these resources here.